SEX AND SEXUAL PROBLEMS: PREMATURE EJACULATION

Therapists generally agree that premature ejaculation is a habit that can be unlearned but any successful treatment takes communication between partners. Not just Oh no, not again! Can’t you control yourself?Recriminations and criticisms are likely to add performance anxiety to the problem and you end up in a vicious cycle.

One of the best ways to reduce the anxiety that often accompanies premature ejaculation is to make sure the other person orgasms first (with stimulation by hands or mouth or whatever else works) and only then is the penis inserted. Then time is much less important. If you both want to keep making love, you can make use of the time after ejaculation to play. In effect, substituting some of the foreplay with afterplay. The second time round is always slower and this can be very reassuring. The squeeze technique has been popular for many years now. It involves stopping stimulation when you feel close to ejaculation and squeezing the penis quite firmly just below the head. Masturbation can help too. Away from the pressure of satisfying your partner, you can get to know when you are approaching the point of no return and stop until the sensation settles down. The idea is to then apply the stop-start technique with a partner. Condoms can also help by making the penis a bit less touch-sensitive.

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